How a Profiler Goes on Vacation
by editor frog
Summary: When Reid and Austin go on vacation, hilarity and mishap ensues. Collaboration with mabelreid.
1. America

**If you're looking for fun and a little humorous adventure, look no further! Mabelreid and I are pleased to present this little tale--hope you like where the road takes us! Usual disclaimers will apply to all chapters.

* * *

****A/N: The titles of each corresponding chapter will relate to a particular song lyric. Our muses will provide cookies if you can guess the song each chapter's inspirational lyric comes from... :)

* * *

  
**

"Spencer, those are my pajama pants."

Reid looked up as the young woman pointed to the makeshift tie that was now currently holding his ancient Volvo's muffler to the undercarriage of the vehicle. The small pink hearts dotting the bright white background of the fabric leered at the profiler as a sign—though of what, he wasn't quite sure.

"I'm sorry, Austin," he said quietly, smearing some sort of dirt over his overworked brow. "There's nothing else that'll work."

"You mean you didn't pack a tie?"

"No. Apparently those were all destroyed when I asked Garcia to grab a few things for me yesterday," the lanky man replied, settling down in the backseat of the car to rest a minute. "Something to do with 'being on vacation with a beautiful woman'…"

Austin smiled a little while shifting her weight on her feet. "She did, huh?"

"I think actually it was her excuse to just buy me some new clothes."

"Well, orange looks great on you, Spencer." Austin leaned in and kissed him right on the tip of his nose, and it was impossible for Reid to stay frustrated. "Though I'm not sure the purple fuzzy pants were a great idea…"

"Hot coffee…first degree burns…large stain in very conspicuous place…" Reid grumbled, remembering the pair's disastrous attempt at breakfast. "You picked them out for me!"

"Well, it was early, and you were screaming bloody murder."

"Um, _hot coffee?_"

"Yeah. Well," Austin said, sliding into the car next to her traveling partner, "can't say we're not getting off to a good start."

"I can't believe they 'arranged' this trip for us," Reid said.

"I thought you liked traveling?"

"I do, but…"

"You travel a lot for work. I get it," Austin said. "Well, we're in Kentucky now. Washington State is a long way from here."

"Yeah, but this is better than work. I mean, I can take my time, there's no rush, great company, and plus there's no mutilated corpse or crazed man wielding a deadly weapon at the end of this trip." Reid smiled for the first time in hours—at least, since the car had started making weird noses resembling a giant, ferocious under-the-bed monster about to attack. "I just wonder why they picked Washington State…"

"Oh. Um…" Austin's gaze fell to the floor, a small conspiratorial smile gracing her face. "I, ah, told your friend Garcia that I always wanted to see the ocean, and the next day I got this phone call…"

Reid's hand hit his forehead. "Ow," he said suddenly as the pain began to spread behind his eyes. "That explains a lot."

"So, what now, oh wise one?" Austin joked. "I mean, the rustic highway is just lovely, but I think I can hear banjo music coming from somewhere around here…"

"Whoever thought up that book is more depraved than the guy who made the movie," Reid winced, his mind going where all men's minds go when _Deliverance_ is mentioned in any form. "Well, thank God she let me keep the cell phone, because a tow truck's now coming to try to get this looked at, because frankly, I'm not genius when it comes to the mechanical workings of a car."

"And here I thought most guys had it hardwired into their brains." Austin settled her folded arms against the top of the car's roof, the warm summer sun washing over her like a giant spotlight. "At least, most of the losers I used to date were like that."

"Losers?"

"Problem was, if you weren't talking about a car or how much you could drink in one sitting, they weren't interested." She sighed. "Beauty, no brains."

"Oh."

"Now, you, on the other hand, are the best of both," Austin said. "Gorgeous and holds an intelligent conversation. Be still my heart."

Reid blushed. He didn't want to tell her that he was drawn to her partly because of her looks, but also that she was genuinely interested in him as a person. _Thanks, Morgan,_ he thought silently as the two began to swap stories about being stuck in other situations. _Perhaps I can do more 'magic' than I realized…_

Just then the tow truck arrived. "Dr. Reid?" the driver asked, a fat, bushy-bearded man wearing a red cap and a pair of dirt-stained overalls.

"Y-yes," Reid stammered. There was a part of him that worried about those 'banjos' that Austin joked about.

"Bill Walker. Y'say you've got a bad muffler?"

"Oh, yeah," Austin said, deftly stepping between the immense driver and the tongue-tied profiler. "We thought about driving it, but we'd get pulled over pretty quick, the racket it's making…"

"You know cars, miss?"

"Dated a lot of gearheads. No offense."

"None taken." Behind Walker's scraggly gray beard was a warm smile, and Reid visibly relaxed as the man set about loading the car onto the hoist. "Prefer raising geese, myself. Old Bo in there is looking forward to herding them once we get back."

"Bo?" Austin asked, and seconds later a joyful bark swiftly turned her attention to the cab of the tow truck. Inside was a dark-spotted, short-haired dog that was wagging his tail as fast at the joint would allow.

"Oh, yeah, Bo there, he loves chasing geese. Never eats 'em, mind, just goes out and rounds 'em up. Got a lot of people raising birds in this area—what with the economy and all…"

Reid noticed as the sun began to sink in the west, the air temperature cooling considerably with each passing minute. "Um, about how long, do you think…?"

"Oh, Donnie's not in 'til tomorrow, son," Walker explained. "Takes Mondays off—works Saturdays instead. Claims he can fish more that way, but I dunno."

"In that case, how about someplace to eat?" Austin said brightly leaning into the cab of the tow truck to pet the large dog sitting inside. "Aw, aren't you sweet!" The dog simply lapped up the attention, a giant 'smile' crossing his face and his tail thumping against the sides of the door. "Spencer, come on, he's harmless!"

Gingerly, Reid reached in to pat the dog. He was surprised when the animal leaped out of the cab and jumped on top of him, happily licking his face after smelling the agent over carefully.

"Bo! Get back in there!" Walker yelled as he set the indicator lights on the ancient Volvo. "I'm terribly sorry, son…"

"No, no, it's all right," Reid said, looking down at his now-mud-stained shirt and purple fuzzy pants. "In fact, that hasn't happened before…usually dogs don't like me."

"He sees you being nice to the young lady there," Walker explained. "Old Bo, he likes girls. Likes men only if the girl they're with does, if you catch me."

Both Reid and Austin smiled wide. "About dinner, sir?" he asked. "It is getting late."

"Yep. Drop this to Donnie, tell him put a rush on it, and then I can drop you both to Nancy's—she's got the best coffee and ice cream pie in town…"

"Sounds great," Austin said, smiling. "Well, at least we're off to an interesting start, Spencer," she added as she hopped into the cab, Bo following close behind her.

_Good thing I'm skinny,_ Reid mused as he gently sat next to the overly happy dog whose ears were being scratched by Austin. _At least the car will be fixed, and the place seems pretty nice…_


	2. Carly Simon

**Chocolate chip cookies for the person(s) who can guess the song the inspirational lyric comes from.** **:)

* * *

**

"Here we are," Bill Walker said, pointing down the town's only dirt road.

Reid looked at Austin, who was scratching the lovesick Bo's ears. She looked at the main street of town that didn't have a traffic light and smirked at Reid.

"It's v-very n-nice sir." Reid stammered while Austin giggled at the dog licking her face.

Walker laughed, "Ya don't hav' ta be so polite, young man. This ain't even a one stop-light town, but we call it home."

Reid went pink in the cheeks. "I didn't mean -"

Walker was still laughing as they pulled up to the side of a grey, weather-beaten building with a faded sign that read "Donnie's Auto Repair."

"Don't worry son… This is the nicest place this side of Frankfort. You'll see! "

"Yeah, Spencer--where's your sense of adventure?"

Bo barked, which was like a gunshot in the confined space of the truck.

"See, even Bo agrees," She gently pushed on Reid's arm and he got out in to the darkening night.

Austin hopped down and Bo followed her. He circled both of them, sniffing there feet before taking off with a loud howl down the street and out of sight.

"He loves Martha Carter's flock of geese the best. You can set your clock by him taking off to see them to bed."

Reid raised his eyebrows at Austin and she giggled. "Sir, where is this café you told us about?'

"I'm sorry young lady. Just let me get your car seen to and we'll walk down together."

While Walker dealt with the car, Reid went to the door at the middle of the building. There was a sign under the window that he could just make out in the fading light.

**Services offered:**

Oil Change

Alignment

Tire Rotation

Brake Service

Muffler Service

State Inspections

Tax Preparation (In Season)

Notary Public

Piano Lessons

Reid tried desperately not to burst out laughing as he poked Austin in the ribs and called her attention to the sign.

"Hey, nothing like a jack-of-all trades in a very small town." She said in all seriousness before laughing at the look on his face.

"She's all taken care of," Walker's voice made them start guiltily.

"Thanks," Reid managed with a sober face.

He and Austin fell into step with the tow truck driver as he led them down the wooden sidewalk. They passed several store fronts that had closed signs. The third building had a sign that read "Nancy's."

A bell dinged as they entered the café. The long counter in front of them had stools with cream colored fabric that was cracked and peeling in places. The case in front of them showed various types of pie and cookies baked fresh that day. The glass was a bit smudged, but the black and white tile floor looked pretty clean. The booths was empty but for one silver haired woman picking at what looked like pancakes to Reid.

"Nancy!" Walker bawled and Reid jumped in surprise.

Austin had been looking at the old fashioned juke box at the back of the small room. It was playing a song that was familiar, but she couldn't think of the name.

A short, plump blond haired woman wearing a pink uniform and a white cap came out of the kitchen. Her hair was piled high in a beehive on the top of her head.

"Wadaya want Billy?"

"I got customers for ya. Strangers in town, their car broke down along the road."

Nancy looked Reid up and down for so long that his face went red. "Honey, don't your ma ever _feed _you?"

Reid opened his mouth, but Nancy cut him off. "I got just the thing to put some meat on your bones."

"But -"

"You and your wife jus' follow me over here."

She led them to a table near the juke box. "Now you two sit down and rest your bones. I'll bring ya something right out."

"But-" Reid tried again, but Nancy was gone.

"Where's the menu?" Austin asked.

"Nancy doesn't believe in menus," Billy said. He'd followed them to the table. "She can take one look at you and bring out exactly what you want."

"But that's not possible!"

"Says the profiler!" Austin argued.

"What?"

"Honey, some people think what you do is akin to a medicine man shaking a rattle over you and pronouncing a body 'free of evil magic'."

Reid's face went pink again. "There's more to it then that. Profiling is based on the case studies of hundreds of serial killers, arsonists, rapists and other criminals. We study human behavior and through careful observation we can predict what the criminal will do in a given situation."

Bill had wandered over to the juke box as though hoping to keep out of a 'marital spat.'

"I know that darling, but you have to admit that to the average person it looks like magic, or reading the person's mind. And in your case, you're this gorgeous man with a big brain and a badge. It's all a confusing combination for people.

The juke box began to play as Reid thought for a long time what to say to all of that. He decided to agree for the moment.

"Okay, I can see how it would seem like magic. But there's no way Nancy is bringing out exactly what I want."

"Well just have to wait and see. I, for one, want to see someone outside of the BAU profile _you_." She pointed the fork next to her place setting.

"Would you like to place a small wager on that?"

"Yeah, the person that wins goes without coffee in the morning."

Reid swallowed hard and then nodded his head. "You've got a deal."

The couple waited in companionable silence until Reid began to sing badly under his breath, "So good on paper, so romantic, so bewildering."

"Are you singing?" Austin started to tease when Nancy interrupted with their 'order."

"Here you go honey…" She put a plate with a giant steak, mashed potatoes and green beans with a pat of butter melting over them in front of Austin. She added a diet Coke to the meal and turned to Reid whose eyes were huge.

"You need fattening up," She put a large glass of milk on the table above his place setting. The plate she put in front of him made his mouth drop open. It was huge with spaghetti and meatballs piled high on it. She added a basket of garlic bread and a small saucer of apple sauce to the feast.

"Now, you just enjoy that while I make up your room. You're staying with me." It wasn't a suggestion.

Austin grinned at Reid. "This is exactly what I wanted. I haven't had a good steak in forever. It's even cooked medium, just the way I like it."

"Well, I guess no one wins because I didn't want spaghetti."

She only stared at him through narrowed eyes.

"Alright, I was thinking about meatballs today. My mom used to make them when she was well."

"You better eat up, because it's getting later and you're going to need the extra sleep. Remember, no coffee for you!"


	3. The Carpenters

**Snickerdoodles this time, if you can guess the song. :)

* * *

**

"Oh, lord," Austin said as soon as she dropped her fork. "I swear, that was great!"

Reid merely nodded. His mouth was still too full of meatball and mushroom marinara sauce to answer. He picked up a piece of the garlic bread and began to sop up the leftover sauce.

"Ew," Austin said. "Soggy bread."

"No, this is great," Reid said, swallowing the last of the meatball. "My mom always said not to leave anything good go to waste."

"She did?"

"Well, she also thought our lives were being recorded in song by Bob Dylan when I was about fourteen," he admitted softly. "But still, it was a thing for her when she was, you know, herself."

"Still, soggy bread," Austin repeated.

"Now who's balking at a little adventure?" Reid teased. Picking up an untouched section of the bread, he dipped it in the last remnants of he sauce and handed it to her. "Try it. I bet you'll like it."

Gingerly, the woman took a nibble. "Oh, my God," she breathed. "Wow!"

"Told you. I haven't had spaghetti sauce this good in a long, long time."

"Well, thank ya," Nancy said, her voice booming. "Make that myself, y'see. One of my more popular dishes."

"And everyone says the pies are the best in town, Nance," Walker called out, tipping his coffee cup towards the young couple.

"Oh, where are my manners? Hmm, let's see…"

"Ma'am, as much as I'd like to find out for myself, I'll have to take his word on it," Austin said kindly. "That steak…"

"Well, at least it sat well with ya. And you, dearie?" the graying woman asked, her kind smile beaming towards Reid.

"I-I don't think I've had better spaghetti in my life, and I've eaten a lot of spaghetti, ma'am," Reid said as he finished up the rest of the garlic bread.

"Well, now," Nancy seemed genuinely pleased. "You hear that, Bill Walker? Best spaghetti!"

"That's my girl," the scraggly man said, raising his cup. Just then a thunderclap sounded outside, long and loud, and the shock to Reid nearly lifted him from his seat.

"Little high strung, are we?" Austin teased.

"Who, me? No. I just…"

"You nearly jumped six feet in the air!"

"Okay. It scared me. A little."

"Apple pie for him, and two scoops of ice cream, please," the lithe former bartender replied, looking at their hostess. "He _does_ need fattening up."

"I'm telling you, it's just a freakish metabolism…"

"Oh, no, you did not…"

"What?"

"There are two words you never say in front of a woman—'freakish' and 'metabolism', and definitely _not_ in the same sentence." Austin's voice sounded stern, but her face belied a wide, mischievous grin. The sound of rain began to patter on the large picture window, first a light tap and then a solid drumming. A thunderclap sounded again, and the twisting sound of crackling wood rang though everyone's ears. "Spencer, look at that tree!"

Reid stared at the giant willow tree, amazed that after being fried by the lightening strike it still had the strength to stand on its own accord, even though by a thread. That reality became a memory as a second later the giant trunk collided with the asphalt of the road underneath it, effectively blocking everyone inside the tiny hamlet.

"Think God's sayin' something right there," Nancy said as she handed Reid his pie. "Good thing you young folks are stayin' the night."

"Yeah," Austin said, her face falling a little. Then she quickly turned to their hosts and said, "What about Bo?"

"Oh, good heavens," Nancy said. "Bill Walker--"

Just then Bo barked loudly at the front door, soaked, full of mud and bedraggled from his impromptu shower. Austin hurried to open the door, and the grateful collie mix was once again making a beeline for Reid's already-mudstained outfit.

"Bo! Get down!" Walker bellowed, and the animal quickly circled around and settled himself right under Reid's feet.

"Well, I never," Walker said with a chuckle. "I've had that dog going on five years, and I've never seen him take to a man as well as he has you, son."

Reid just smiled. _Maybe the 'Reid effect'_ _is wearing off. Then again, I have changed a lot in five years… _He looked over at Austin, who was frowning slightly. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Oh, the tree," his companion replied. "Grew up near a lot of them, and cleaning up the things was always a chore. Means we'll be hanging around awhile, so there's nothing to do but frown a little and get some sleep."

"Hey," Reid said brightly, pushing his pie plate closer to Austin and handing her a fork. "We've got pie, we've got ice cream, I've got my gal, who could ask for anything more?"

"Showtunes, Spencer?"

"Hey. Gershwin was a genius. So is Sondheim."

Austin laughed, then began eating her pie. Looking over at the counter, she noticed Nancy 'sharing' a cup of coffee with Bill.

"They're in love," she whispered.

"What?"

"Geez. Some profiler you are. See them, over there?"

Reid stopped eating and looked at their 'hosts,' who were sharing pointed looks at each other. "They are," he said. "Probably for a long time now—maybe decades. I wonder why they never…"

"They're not?"

"Look at the wedding bands."

"So?"

"They don't match."

"Oh."

"But they're not hiding their relationship, so my guess is they're both widowed, probably young," Reid continued, now determined to 'prove' himself. "She knows how he likes his coffee—proves he's been coming here for years—and he knew how she ran her establishment."

"But that could be just them knowing each other through work. I mean, tow drivers do tend to drink a lot of coffee…" Austin pointed out.

"No. Remember Walker never told us of a place to stay, even though he knew we weren't going to be leaving tonight?"

"Vaguely, why?"

"Because he knew Nancy would take boarders. It wouldn't surprise me it they lived next door to each other. She seems to know Bo real well, and the dog takes direction from her too."

"Wow," Austin said. "Maybe there is more to it than just 'reading people's minds'."

Reid just smiled a satisfied smile. Suddenly, the lights went out.

"Oh, great," Walker said. "Now what?"


	4. Eddie Rabbitt

**Oatmeal raisin ones this time. :)

* * *

**

"Austin…" Reid squeaked when the lights went out.

"I'm right over here."

Lightening lit up the dark café as Bo raised his head and licked Reid's hand. He whined when the rain fell more heavily still and Reid patted his head nervously. It lashed against the window like pebbles in a hurricane.

"Don't fret!" A loud female voice said over the rain and thunder.

A light, golden and comforting, came through the darkness followed by Nancy. She placed the candle on the table.

"T-thanks," Reid stammered.

"Honey, you don't look so good."

"I don't like the dark or storms."

"It's okay, sweetheart. There's nothing there in the dark that ain't there in the day time."

Reid opened his mouth at the same time Bill said, "Leave the poor man alone."

"You never mind." She smacked him arm and he looked down at her as though the sun rose and set over her. "Now come with me. I'll show you up to your room."

---

Austin came back into the bedroom from the bathroom down the hall. The room was fairly small and dominated by a huge bed made up with a patchwork quilt and two pillows with white cases. The white painted dresser in one corner was topped with a vase of wild flowers. The other corner boasted a small round table and a couple of wicker chairs painted white to match the dresser.

Reid was lying on his side, facing away from the door and to the candle that Nancy had left. Austin carried a flashlight Bill had gone to fetch from his truck.

"It sounds like the storm might be over."

Nancy had taken them up to the third floor of the building, and the sound of the rain was much muffled. The thunder and the lightening had lessened and sounded far away now.

"The storm front must be moving very fast. Did you know that some storms can from in minutes and break up -?"

Austin had crawled onto the bed and reached over to put a hand on his mouth. "Why don't you tell me what's bugging you?"

"It's nothing."

"Hey…" She pulled on his shoulder and he rolled over on his back. "We agreed to leave everything behind from your work and my issues behind on this trip and enjoy ourselves."

"Yeah…"

"So what is bothering you?"

"It's nothing!"

"I'm going to keep asking you till you tell me. What's bothering you?"

"Austin…"

"Spencer!"

'Fine, I'm afraid of the dark. Are you happy?"

He glared up at her in the dark. She stared back with a grin on his face. She was so beautiful that he wanted to just forget his stupid irrational fears and kiss her.

"What's wrong with that?"

"You're dating a wimp who doesn't like the dark."

"Don't you ever say that about yourself again."

"But I'm supposed to be the strong man that takes care of you."

"Spencer Reid, I can't believe you just said that. You're the strongest man I know. You've been through more in the last two years then anyone could imagine."

"But -"

"You're still alive though all it and it's made you stronger then anyone I know. You saved my life--or did you forget!?"

"No, but -"

"No, I'm not going to let you wallow. The power will come back on. In the morning Bill will get the tree cleaned up with the help of his buddies and Donnie will fix your car. Then we'll be on the road!"

He hugged her and kissed her soundly on the mouth. "How did I get so lucky?"

"You did magic and I was hooked. You're never getting rid of me."

"Okay…"

"Good, now get your pajamas on, go to the bathroom and come back. We're going to listen to the rest of the showers wash our cares away."

"Yes ma'am!"

----

"Spencer!"

"Five more minutes," came a muffled voice from under the patchwork quilt.

"Wake up my love!"

He opened one eye and looked at two beautiful brown eyes that were staring at him. "I dreamed that a very large angry bee was chasing me."

"Oh, poor baby… Get up and have some breakfast. You'll feel better."

"I doubt it! No coffee, remember?" He bitterly complained.

"You'll survive. Look out the window."

He turned over and winced at the bright light coming in through the window. He turned back over and threw the covers over his head.

Someone poked him. "Come on, you wake up to a sunny day and all you can do is go back to sleep. "

"Yes, there's no hurry."

"Do you hear that sound?"

He listened and heard the buzzing noise from his dream outside the window. It was pretty loud. How had he not heard it once he had woken?

"What's that?" He inquired.

"It's a chainsaw. Haven't you ever been to a horror movie?"

"That explains the bee in my dream."

"What?"

"Nothing," He decided to get up and get dressed, but only because his bladder was distended.

Austin was changing out of a tee shirt and a pair of his boxer short. "Hey, what's with wearing my shorts?"

"You used my pajama bottoms to stabilize your muffler. Don't you remember?"

He rubbed at his eyes and swayed a bit on his feet. "Oh, right."

"Hurry up… I'm hungry!"

"I'm coming," he replied, stumbling out of the room with his bag in hand.

---

Austin was in the same booth they'd had last night with a plate of waffles with fresh strawberries. Nancy was just putting a plate of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and a glass of orange juice in front of Reid's place setting.

Bo was sitting next to Austin. He grinned up at Reid and gave out a joyful bark at the young man. "He sure does love you, kid," Bill said from the bar stool at the counter. He and Austin were trading stories while she ate and he drank coffee. The tree outside looked about half dismantled.

"Can I please have some coffee?"

"No, you lost the bet, you have to pay up."

"Austin!"

"Spencer!"

"Please," He looked up at her with his dark eyes and she narrowed her eyes back at him."

Bo barked at Austin and Reid laughed. "He agrees with me."

"He's a dog and you won't get what you want with those eyes."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes you do! It's that thing you do with your eyes that makes you look like a helpless little boy that needs to be mothered."

"She's right, son." Nancy said as she warmed Austin's coffee.

Reid looked up at Bill and the older man said, "Don't look at me. I'm stayin' out of this."

"So, are you ready to admit that you do it on purpose?"

"No, I don't know what you're talking about."

Austin threw a sliced strawberry at him. He responded by flipping back some bacon which slid off her plate and into Bo's waiting and happy mouth.

"Now you've done it. He'll never leave you alone now." Bill warned them.

He was right. Bo was standing up and barking loudly at Austin and Reid. Reid gave him the rest of his bacon and Bo lay down with the last piece next to his left paw. He chewed happily before gulping down the last piece.

"Come on Bo…"

The dog left with his master very reluctantly. He kept looking back at Reid was though he was losing his best friend.

"Come on; let's go get ready to leave." Austin said. "Bill said Donnie told him the car would be ready in a couple of hours."

"I don't make my eyes do anything special." Reid grumbled as they hiked back up the stairs to their room.

"Yes you do and before this trip is over, I'm going to prove it to you."

---

Two hours later, Austin and Reid were standing next to his ancient Volvo. Bill and Bo were there too. Nancy had said goodbye at the café after giving them a huge thermos of coffee, some chocolate layer cake and ham and cheese sandwiches in a huge paper bag.

Bo waited unhappily at Reid. "He's not happy you're leavin'"

"Oh… um, well boy...um, we can't stay." Reid patted the dog awkwardly on the head.

Bo whined and there was the snap of a camera taking a picture. "Don't worry Spencer. I saved this moment for posterity."

_And for blackmail! What would the guys at the office say about this?_

Reid went red and Bo whined softly. "Don't worry boy. We'll come back and see you some day." Austin said.

The dog watched them get in the car. He ran along side the car till the reached the outskirts of the tiny town, and then he just sat down and howled.

"Wow," Austin rolled up her window. "You sure have a way with animals."

Reid glared at her. "Very funny! I don't think that will be the norm from here on out."

"You never know!"

"Can we just get back on schedule?"

"Yeah, I think we've had our adventure for the trip. Washington State, here we come!"


	5. Barry Manilow

**Snickerdoodles this time. All the stuff is as I remember it myself when I went to Nashville in 2003.

* * *

**

"A bar."

"It's not a bar."

"Spencer, I know bars. I used to work for one, remember?"

"Hey, Garcia said I should get her a shirt if I was in a city with one of these places in them, so here we are," Reid said pointedly, holding up the large white shirt with the Hard Rock Café logo and city design on the back. "She'll love the guitar…"

"I didn't think she liked rock music," Austin said. "Struck me as kind of a techno lover, really."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. The other day she had to show me her new ringtone—plays the song 'People Are Strange' by The Doors." Reid took a sip of his Coke as he looked at some of the memorabilia on the wall. "It's amazing how they can get this stuff, isn't it?"

"I'll say. I mean, a gold album by the Beatles? The famous brassiere from Madonna?"

"All started with Eric Clapton," Reid informed her as the opening strains of "Layla" began to pour out of the many loudspeakers situated throughout the establishment. "He signed a guitar and hung it over his favorite barstool in the London restaurant, and the next week the guitarist from The Who sent the owners a signed guitar as well, with a note that read 'Mine's as good as his!' And so began the tradition."

"Wow. That's cool," Austin said as she nibbled on a piece of breaded chicken and lettuce. "I can't believe you knew that."

"I didn't. I read the little catalog here, and it told me."

"Oh, you!" Austin laughed as she playfully swatted at Reid. "Next thing you'll tell me is that they published the 'secret recipe' for the pulled pork."

"Nope. And I'm not about to find out, either," the agent smiled. "But…" Reid dove into the giant bag that held Garcia's shirt. "I thought he might make you smile." He pulled out a small teddy bear, an aquamarine one covered in little white music notes and bearing the establishment's logo on its chest. "I think I remember you saying you liked them."

"Ohhh…" Austin squealed, taking the little bear and holding it in her hands, playfully poking the little black nose on the stuffed toy. She leaned over the cozy table the two shared and kissed Reid long and slow on the lips. Reid's eyes closed, and he could feel himself growing hot with a cross between passion and embarrassment—they were in public, after all! "I love it!" she said as soon as her lips parted from his.

Reid took another sip of Coke, trying to bring his temperature down a degree or two. The couple planned to spend the night in Nashville, but Reid had drawn the line at going anywhere there might be line dancing involved. "Seriously, I have like, three left feet!" he insisted when Austin pouted a little. "The slow stuff, maybe, but that special footwork…"

"Oh, well. Second Street has some good places. Plus, there's good parking, too."

"Oh?"

"Ever worked a case in Nashville?"

Reid thought a moment. "No. Couple in Tennessee, but none in Nashville."

"Then you don't know that the state capital building is just on the end of Second Street—two blocks from the bar district."

"How did _you_ know that?"

"I traveled a bit before Atlanta." Austin was swaying her head to the sound of some 80's tune that Reid found catchy but couldn't name. As soon as the song ended, another began to play, a slow, soft tune. Reid spied a wide space in the open main floor and got an idea.

"Come on," Reid said, holding out his hand.

"Spencer?"

"Let's dance."

"Here? Now?!"

"Sure. Why not? It's my vacation—let's do something crazy and fun for a change!"

The two made their way to the middle of the floor and began dancing, much to the stares of the other patrons dining on tall Cokes and thick hamburgers and crisp fries. A few started following the couple's movements as the love theme to 'St. Elmo's Fire' played on, and Reid got a huge cheer as he spun Austin out and pulled her back close.

"Wow," Austin said as the song ended and the two received an ovation. "And you said you couldn't dance."

"No line dancing. Last time I tried Morgan ended up with bruises on about thirty percent of his legs and backside, and Emily ended up on crutches for three weeks."

"Wow."

"Did you like it?"

"I like the spontaneous Spencer." Austin kissed him on the nose, resulting in another huge cheer from a few patrons sitting nearby. "I'm not sure what could make this more perfect…"

Just then a gunshot rang out, silencing the music and causing all eyes to focus on the front door where it had come from. "All right," a tall man said, drawling his voice as though its life depended on it. "Everyone just sits real tight and this should go smooth."

"Oh, great," Reid whispered. "The one time I go out and it has to get held up by the locals."

"What now?" Austin breathed, clutching Reid as though her life depended on it. "Where do we go from here?"

"I'm…not sure yet," Reid whispered back, slowly taking his seat. "It's too soon to tell."


	6. Robbie Dupree

**Paczkis this week for anyone who gets the inspirational lyric right. Tonight's flavor: custard.

* * *

**

The tall man held a very large handgun in his right hand. He pointed it at a startled server who'd dropped a tray of drinks on the hardwood floors. "Get the manager out here now! You better be back out here in two minutes or someone is dead." He shouted over the music.

She scurried off into the kitchen and was just returning with a very angry dark haired man, when another man entered the bar. He was very short and stocky with red hair and freckles that made his face look he'd spent too much time in the tanning bed.

"Dwayne…"

"I told ya no names," The tall man hissed as he made the manager open the cash register. He addressed the patrons as the short man pulled a small white trash bag out of his pocket. "Everyone take out their wallets, cell phone, and jewelry. Place it in the bag and no one gets hurt."

"Spencer…"

"Shh…"

He held her free hand so tight that his knuckles were white. She clutched her little bear to her heart, trying to let the softness of the little guy soothe her feelings. The warmth in the material from Spencer's hand was probably her imagination, but it made her feel better.

The shorter man was grabbing all the valuables off the tables. Some of the women were crying and most of the men were looking like they wanted to jump the two robbers, but they didn't quite dare challenge the man with a gun. The short man tripped over the chair two tables away from where Reid and Austin were sitting. He dropped the garbage bag and everything he'd collected rolled and rattled around like dice on a craps table.

"Damn it Melvin! I told ya one more stupid mistake and I'm going ta beat ya senseless."

"Shut up!"

"Pick it up and get back ta work. The rest of ya stay put and don't move."

Reid slid his chair back a fraction of an inch while the short man crawled around on the ground, picking up watches and cell phones. The tall man had his eyes on the manager and the wait staff that had collected at one end of the room.

"Spencer."

"It's okay." He gently twisted his arm out of her grasp.

"What are you going to do?" Austin hissed. "You don't have your badge or your gun."

"That's because you and the girls ganged up on me and made me leave them home."

"Spencer!"

"Shut up over there," The tall man barked at them.

Spencer looked over at Austin and shook his head. She reached over and squeezed his hand. Dwayne had gone back to watching the manager.

"I promise, I'll be okay. These guys won't kill anyone."

"How do you know…?" She whispered.

"I know."

"But…Spencer!"

"It's okay!"

He'd shifted his chair again when the tall man turned and leveled his gun at Reid. "I told ya ta shut up and don't move."

The tall man strode over to their table and pulled Austin to her feet. "Let g-go of h-her." Reid stuttered.

"I don't think so."

"Come on Dwayne, ya said this would be a simple one. We don't need her."

The short man had filled the garbage bag so full that it bulged in places and threatened to split open on the floor again. The other customers, who'd been silent till now began to protest at Dwayne's treatment of Austin.

"Everyone shut up and do as I told ya or this pretty lady gets it."

"Dwayne!"

"Shut up Melvin! Go get in the car. I'll be right behind you."

"I think we should all just calm down. I don't have my ID to show you, but I'm an agent with the FBI. I can help you, but only if you let me make a call."

"Do ya expect me to believe that?"

"Let me call my boss and he'll fix it so the cops go easy on you. I know you don't want to hurt anyone. You have to put up with a stupid partner. I understand how it can be working with people that don't do their jobs."

"Why don't ya take your girlfriend's place with me? I think a hostage would be a good idea. If ya are who you say ya are, then Melvin and I should be able to get out of the county just fine.

He let go of Austin who fell back in her chair. She was clutching at the tiny bear again. "You," He pointed his gun at Reid. "Ya say ya want ta help me. Come on an' show me what I want to know."

"Let the others go and I'll stay in here with you. If you let me call my boss over at FBI..."

"Shut up or I'll blow your head off.

"Dwayne…"

The short man had come back into the room. The door slammed behind him and the room full of people jumped as one.

"I told ya to get in the car."

"Yeah, well um… We got us a problem Dwayne."

"What kind of problem?"

"Well, I thought as how it was the getaway car that I should leave the engine running and well -"

"Melvin, if you weren't my sister's kid, I'd shoot you right here. What are ya trying to tell me?"

"The car's out of gas."

"Ya freakin' idiot. I told ya to turn off the engine. How many times did I tell ya that before we come inta town. Are you deaf as well as stupid? I should blow your simpleminded head off."

The tall man pointed his gun at the smaller man and the clip fell out of the gun and rattled to the floor. Bullets rolled all over the floor and under the tables and chairs. Dwayne's face went crimson as he turned on the smaller man.

"Melvin, I told ya ta fix this gun."

"I tried Dwayne, but -"

"Ya couldn't fix it and ya didn't think I needed ta know that?!"

"Because ya always hit me Dwayne, I didn't want ya ta hit me again."

"I'm gonna do more the hit you this time."

Reid looked over and Austin when Dwayne let go of him to grab his partner. He winked at her and she shook her head. His captor was way too interested in punishing his partner to pay attention to them.

"It's okay… he whispered. "Morgan taught me this. He turned and reached for the tall man who'd turned his back on his hostage.


	7. The Doors

**Lemon paczkis this time. :)

* * *

**

Reid grabbed the tall man's arm in one swift motion and forced it downward, surprising the would-be robber and causing the man to pull on the broken trigger a few times. "Let go!" the man yelled, his face contorting with fury.

"Austin, call the…"

Just then a shot rang out. The tall man's face paled considerably as he began howling in agony. "My foot! Damn it, my foot!"

"Well, what do you know!" the shorter man—Melvin—cried. "Managed to get one off, after all!"

"Melvin, you idiot! Oh, my foot! You!" the man screamed, lunging towards Reid as the profiler stood perfectly still, still clutching the weapon in his own hand. "You shot me!"

"Actually, you shot yourself," Reid reminded him. "I wasn't pulling the trigger."

"The police are on their way," Austin said, and the remaining patrons and waitstaff were now slowly moving from their seats towards the front exit. "What now?"

"Now we wait," Reid told her. "What'd you used to do with these kinds of people when you were working?"

"We'd let the drunks pass out, pick 'em up in the morning," Austin said. "My first robbery, really."

"Huh." Reid smiled. "At least there's a good story." The young man quickly took off the tall man's shoe and took part of the draperies that were hanging nearby and tore it off the wall. "Sorry," he said to the establishment's manager, who looked at Reid with wide eyes. "No gauze."

"Not that I was worried about, son," the manager said quickly. "Two inches over and you'd have destroyed about several thousand dollars worth of memorabilia." The manager pointed to a long white sequined leisure suit that had apparently been owned by Elvis himself. "More trouble there than you want."

"Oh. Good thing this was here," Reid said, wrapping a thin curtain-like material around the tall man's foot. "Now, stay still and don't shout."

"OW!" Dwayne screamed as soon as Reid applied pressure to the wound. "That _hurts!_"

"Didn't seem to mind threatening _us_ with it, though," Austin retorted, still clutching her bear tightly. Turning around, she saw Melvin trying to make a quiet exit. "Hold it, sparky!" she bellowed. Reid was taken aback at the volume her voice reached. "Where d'you think _you're_ going?!"

"Look, this…this was a big mistake," the younger man said meekly, his tiny voice seeming to become lost inside his oversized frame. "I-I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I swear…"

"No, you didn't," Reid said, and Austin agreed. "But you did try to rob a building full of people in broad daylight."

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

Just then the police arrived. "Looking for Austin?" the scene commander asked, searching the now nearly empty dining room for his mark.

"That's me," Austin said, waving her little bear as a flag. "They're right here, officers."

"Sam, call a bus," the scene commander said quickly, looking at Dwayne's injured foot. "So, you thought pulling a job here was a good idea, huh?"

"Oh, shove it," Dwayne said.

"Um, officer…" Reid said timidly, trying not to get ID'd as being on the job. "What's going to happen to them?"

"Well, son, they're looking at attempted grand larceny, for starters," the scene commander replied. "Plus discharge of a firearm in a public area."

"Hey, that was _his_ fault!" Dwayne protested, pointing at Reid. "Mr. FBI here made me shoot!"

The scene commander looked warily at Reid. "FBI?"

"Behavorial Analysis. I'm on vacation."

The older man shook his head, as if to say _what won't they come up with next._ "Little young, aren't you?"

"I get that a lot," Reid said offhandedly, trying to skip the implication.

"Hey, what about me?" Melvin cried as he felt his hands being pulled behind his back. "I told ya, I didn't do nothin'!"

Reid looked at Austin. Austin looked at Reid. Both of them looked at the manager, and the scene commander looked at all three of them. "He for real?"

"Yeah, officer, he is," Austin said finally. "I don't think he really wanted to go along with it."

"Hmm," the older man said. "Well, he'll do something, but probably county jail instead of prison." Leaning up to the young couple, he said, "Confidentally, I've dealt with these two before. That younger one's got the brains of a walnut, but he's not a mean-spirited kid."

Remembering the incident with Austin at gunpoint, Reid nodded his head. "Yeah. I'd give him a break."

"Lucky day, gents," the scene commander said as he followed his prisoners out of the building. "Free trip to the hospital and some new jewelry for ya…" The ambulance took off, its sirens blaring and lights flashing.

Reid sat back down at his table, taking a long pull off of his half-finished Coke. "I could go for dessert," he said.

"Me too," Austin replied.

To their surprise, the manager brought out a giant chocolate sundae in an oversized margarita glass. "On the house," the man said warmly. "As is your bill."

"Oh, no," Reid said, holding his hands up in protest. "We couldn't…"

"It's the least we can do for you. You saved us today—both of you."

"Ah, it wasn't anything," Austin laughed. "I'm just glad everyone's okay."

"Me too," the round man said, laughing. As the couple began to eat their ice cream, the sound of Jim Morrison's voice carried through the room.

"I don't know about loneliness or blue dreams, but I am having chocolate ones," Austin said, plucking the cherry off the top and biting into it happily.

"Hot fudge," Reid said, licking his spoon, a dreamy smile on his face.


	8. Michael Damian

**Chocolate chip cookies and a trip to Six Flags...what could be better?

* * *

**

Come on Spencer… I need a break from driving!"

"It's only been a day and a half since we left Tennessee."

"So… I've been riding with you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Reid asked as he glanced over at Austin through his sunglasses.

"Don't play innocent with me. You add the numbers of license plates in your head and tell me what they add up to. My arm is bruised from all the 'slug bugs,' and you have a commentary on every town we pass, including the average population, average rainfall -"

"Okay, I get it. Geez, you sound like Morgan."

"It's good to know I'm not the only one you annoy. It's a good thing your cute Dr. Reid."

Reid went pink in the cheeks and coughed. "It won't work."

"Please!"

He looked over at her again and she was pouting so prettily in her blue jeans and tee shirt. She was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. He shouldn't let her manipulate him like this, but her eyes entranced him. He just couldn't say no.

"Fine, you're navigating so point out the exit."

"Yay… Thank you Spencer."

He smiled and when she told him to, he took the exit marked for Six Flags amusement park.

----

Reid followed her through the line and got his hand stamped after showing the all-day pass he'd bought. She waited for him, and then grabbed his hand as they headed down the large thru-way and past a couple of the rides. He didn't notice that Austin was looking at him gawk around him like he'd never seen a roller coaster or a water ride.

"Hey Spencer," She tugged gently on his hand.

"What!"

"Haven't you been to an amusement park before," she inquired.

"No."

"Seriously."

"No, my dad left and my mom was always too sick so…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know, but I'm still sorry." She squeezed his hand. "You're going to have the time of your life!"

"So, what do we do first?"

Austin looked around them and spied the perfect thing for the very warm day. "We're going to ride the Log Flume first."

"What's that?" He let her pull him along to the line that had begun to form at the gate.

"You poor deprived man. This is the Log Flume. See the 'log' those two are getting into.

"You mean the one that looks like a primitive log boat they just found in Weedon Island? Of course that canoe was forty-five feet long. It was carved out of a single pine tree and is now thought to be the first pre-Columbian water vessel of its kind. Did you know that the American Indians that used the boat often -"

Austin reached up to silence him with a hand over his mouth. "Thanks for the history lesson baby, but the important thing is that we're going to ride that up over that hill."

He watched a boat come rushing down off the hill and splash through the water, soaking all of the occupants of the boat. Some of the spray hit his glasses and when he took them off to dry on his tee shirt she could see the panic in his eyes.

"Don't worry… It's going to be funny."

"We're going to get soaked Austin." He squeaked.

"That's why we're here. It's a hot day and I want to cool off."

"But -" He had heard the screams of the people in the boat.

"Look at them," She gestured to the soaked patrons that were exiting the ride. They seemed to be laughing and enjoying the splash of cold water. "See… it's going to be fine." Then she leaned in and said in his ear. "I want to see what a wet tee shirt looks like on you."

He went crimson and then someone was tugging on his other hand. He looked down and saw a little girl with black hair and large blue eyes that were stunning in there contrast to her hair. She looked up at him very seriously and said.

"Don't worry mister. If you're scared, my mommy said that you should hold on to your bear. Do you have a bear, mister?" She held a small brown teddy bear in one hand that had one eye missing and some of its fur had been rubbed off.

"Julie…" The woman that stood next to the little girl had the same dark hair, but her eyes were brown. "I told you not talk to strangers."

"I'm sorry ma'am," Spencer began to splutter.

"Don't worry about Spencer, he's an FBI agent." Austin piped up. "He'd show you his badge, but he's on vacation."

The women didn't look convinced and she pulled the little girl away from him. Reid narrowed his eyes at Austin. "Did you have to tell her that?" he hissed.

"Never mind that, I have your good luck charm right here." She held out the small bear he'd given her in the Hard Rock Café before the idiot brothers tried to rob the place. She imitated the little girl in a low voice. "Here's a bear to protect you, mister."

He opened his mouth to answer, but was drowned out by another screaming and laughing group going over the hill.

"Come on… It's our turn." She pulled him forward to the log that was cruising toward them. "And we get the front, which is the best place to be."

"Why?"

"Don't worry. You're going to love it."

She made him get into the log after she'd sat down on the wet seat so that he was in front of her. He hissed at the water soaking into his jeans. Austin waited till the ride was under way and then she put her hands on his hips.

---

Reid jerked as her hands fell on his hips. He was sure that his face was getting red. The ride was moving very slow and it felt much hotter then it had just a minute ago. He tried to concentrate on the ride and the fact that it was being pulled up the large hill in front of him by a chain pulley system.

Her hands moved to his sides and he shivered in the hot sun. The ride made it to the top of the hill and seemed to stop for a moment before starting down the other side so fast that his stomach flopped. He could feel the cold water splash all over his like someone had just dashed five buckets full of water into his face. He breathed in and choked on the mist. He could hear someone screaming with laughter and was sure that it wasn't him.

Then the ride slowed, moving slowly through some shady trees that had been planted around the ride. Austin had wrapped her arms around him, but it hardly registered as the slight breeze popped goose pimples out on his skin.

The ride stopped and they clamored out and away from the ride. He followed her back away from the ride while his shoes squelched a bit.

"I'm soaked…" he complained, trying to find a place on his tee shirt to wipe his sun glasses.

"You sure are." Austin said. She was looking him up and down like a starving woman at a buffet just before doomsday.

"I don't, um… this isn't, um well it's not very dignified."

Austin dragged her eyes away from the tee shirt that was clinging to his chest like a second skin and his soaked jeans that were hugging him in all the right places. Her eyes went very reluctantly to his face.

"Forget about being a Behavioral Analyst and have some fun." She glared at two women that were staring at Reid as they walked by with hot dogs in their hands.

'See, you're a hit already." She said while making sure that those girls knew that Reid was hers. She wrapped an arm around his wet body and pulled him through the crowd.

"What am I supposed to do now? I'm soaked."

"Enjoy it. This will keep you cool while you dry off. You'll thank me. I know I'm more comfortable."

He looked over at her. She wasn't as wet as he was, but her wet tee shirt made him trip over his own feet. He could see the outline of her bra through the pink tee shirt she wore. He looked around to see if anyone else was looking. He didn't want other guys looking at her chest. He began imagining getting her out of that tee shirt when she said. "Are you awake, Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Reid?"

"Yeah…"

He yanked his eyes away with some effort. "I'm hungry," he blurted out.

"I know. So, let's get some food."

---

There were so many places to eat that he couldn't decide what he wanted. "How am I supposed to make up my mind?"

"We're getting burgers and fries with sodas. You can't go to Six Flags and not have a burger."

He decided to follow her advice till he saw the prices. "Um… why does a burger cost seven dollars?"

"It's part of the experience."

"What 'experience'?" he asked, making quotation marks with fingers.

"The experience of going to the amusement park. It means that you pay outrageous prices for food, eat till your sick and then go on stomach churning rides."

"Sounds like fun," he said sarcastically.

"Now you're getting it!" She patted him on the cheek. "Now, let's get some burgers. But save some room because the next thing I want is pizza!"


	9. John Williams

**Pumpkin pie for the first correct guesser. This oen shoudl be particularly challenging--hope you've brushed up on movie soundtracks!

* * *

**

"Well, we're both thoroughly soaked and I've just spent nearly fifty dollars eating junk food," Reid said as Austin finished up the last of her ice cream cone. "So what now?"

"Now, stud, we go peruse the carnival games," the young woman said with a definite _catch-me-if-you-can_ look. Despite his clothes starting to crawl up his legs and arms from the dampness slowly drying out of them, Reid laughed as he raced to catch up. Soon Austin stopped at a strange looking booth that had hundreds of little stuffed animals hanging around it. Several large panda bears hung proudly over the featured 'game.'

"What's this?" the profiler asked.

"You've never played Whac-A-Mole?" Austin asked.

"Never went to a carnival, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot." The look on Austin's face grew even more embarrassed, but she quickly brightened. "Well, the whole point of the game is to 'whack the moles'—see, like this guy's doing here."

The couple stood and watched as two men each decided to give the game a try, holding what looked to Reid like large foam-covered mallets in their hands. A buzzer sounded, and instantly what looked like little gremlin-like creatures began to pop out of the 'holes' in the giant metal box that the mallets were connected to. As the men successfully hit the 'moles' back into the box, Reid noticed a digital counter rack up points. After about five minutes, the deep instrumental music that had been playing as the men 'fought' the 'moles' ceased, and the one nearest the couple took his prize—a small stuffed elephant, which he gave to a little girl.

"Probably his daughter," Reid mused. "There's a lot of physical similarities…"

"Spencer, did you even watch the game?"

"Yes. Take the hammer, whack the mole. Seems easy."

"Okay then. If I win, you're buying dinner. Somewhere nice."

Reid grinned. He knew this was something he could win. "You're on." The two paid the barker and the game was reset, and soon Reid heard a theme from one of the _Star Wars_ movies playing as he raced to try and 'beat' the moles into submission before they 'scurried' back into their holes. Next to him, Austin was hammering away like a champ. After five minutes, Reid conceded defeat when his scoreboard showed sixty points and Austin's showed nearly one hundred and fifty.

"The lady wins," the barker cried, and Austin took her prize—a little stuffed zebra. "Here," she said, handing the toy to Reid. "He seems to like you better anyway."

"Austin, it's a stuffed toy. Cloth and cotton and little glass beads that look like…"

"Spencer. It's cute, and it's a present. Now smile, say thank you, and kiss me."

Reid did, taking his time on the last part. "What now?" he said.

"Oh, we've got to play the 'live wire'."

"Does this involve being electrocuted?"

"No, silly," Austin said as they walked over towards another booth. "See those spiral-y wires sticking up?"

"The ones that look like corkscrews?"

"Yeah. See, the point is, you take the little wand there—the one with the hole in it—and you try to thread the 'wire' through the hole in the wand. If you make it all the way to the bottom without touching the sides of the 'wire', you win." Austin waved her hand at the prizes, which included more stuffed animals.

"Okay," Reid said. "This one I'd like to try myself." Walking over to the booth, Reid paid the barker and the man handed him a wand. "You win, you get your pick," the man said. "No one's done it yet today."

After flipping a switch, Reid noticed that the 'wire' began to circle slowly, as if on a turntable. After doing some quick mental calculations, the profiler began to 'thread' the 'wire,' somehow managing to make it all the way to the base.

"Kid, that was incredible," the man said. "That has to be the fastest I've ever seen anyone do it," he explained, trying hard to cover his shock. "Take your pick!"

Reid immediately pointed at a large stuffed panda. "That one," he said.

The barker handed over the giant panda, which was so huge that it nearly smothered Austin as she held it in her arms. "I have to ask—how'd you do that?"

"It's easy. Once I figured out how many revolutions the 'wire' took in ten seconds, I could calculate how fast to move the 'wand' to maintain a constant speed of movement to parallel the original motion. It's physics."

"You some kinda genius or something?"

Reid blushed. "Yeah, kinda."

"Well, thanks. It's nice to know my game ain't rigged."

The couple thanked the barker and Austin found a seat on a nearby bench, setting the gigantic stuffed toy next to her on the ground. "What say we take Rupert here and drop him off at the car before tackling a couple of the roller coasters?" she said.

Reid stared at some of these 'coasters'—some had tracks that turned into corkscrews, others were built at such dizzying heights Reid needed an elevator just to reach the top. "Those?" he asked.

"Or we could go slow, take the Ferris wheel before the car stop," the woman suggested.

"Oh, that thing at the entrance? Hey, did you know that the first Ferris wheel was reportedly built for a World's Fair exhibition?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Same with the invention of the waffle cone…"

Austin let Reid chatter as the pair waited in line for a seat on the Ferris wheel. The seats were designed like little covered booths, giving them more than enough space for both themselves and their 'unexpected' passengers. Soon the ride was underway, and Austin oohed and ahhed at the majestic sight of the giant lake nearby the park.

"Makes me want to go for a swim," she said.

Reid, on the other hand, was enjoying the sights of the other roller coasters. His mind was working overtime on how to modify some of the rides to make them faster or offer more of a 'thrill' for the rider.

"Having fun?" Austin asked, snuggling next to him.

"You have no idea," Reid said happily, lost in thought. He felt like a cross between a little kid and a teenager in love. "Now, about the next ride…I wanna pick."

"Okay, sport," Austin said, laughing as the pair exited the Ferris wheel. "After we drop the 'kids' off, though. I'm not lugging Rupert here all through the park—I might lose him."

Reid smiled. He already knew which one would be next.


	10. Wagner

**The cartoons that Reid and Austin mention (as well as the one they watch) are all available on YouTube. If you like Looney Tunes, give them a look!

* * *

  
**

"_This_ is the ride you want to start with," Austin said as she surveyed the long line in front of them.

"Yeah, this is going to be great." He was bouncing up and down on his feet like an excited ten year old and it made her smile.

She threaded her arm through his and gave him a smile. "Well, ok then. Let's go."

The line they joined outside a large building with the Merrie Melodies logo over the door was very short. There were a lot of kids and some adults waiting for the 3-D "Duck Dodgers in the 24th and half Century," ride.

"I remember this from when I was a kid." Austin said.

"It's one of my favorites. I love cartoons. The political satire in most of them is brilliant. And the study of human behavior that -"

"I don't think little kids care about political satire." Austin interrupted. "I think they just wanted to have a good laugh. Isn't that why you watched them as a kid?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"So let's pretend we're kids." She said as they took their places on the ride. "Personally, I like shorts like 'Bewitched Bunny' and 'Transylvania 6-5000'."

"Those were good, but the one I liked the best was 'Lonesome Ghost'."

"You like the creepy cartoons… I wouldn't have guessed that little Spencer Reid would like that."

He blushed, and got warm when Austin put an arm around him just as the lights went out and the ride began as the car they were in jolted forward.

The Merrie Melodies theme began to play while the cartoon began. The background music that began after the theme song was over and after the title was announced was familiar.

"Hey, I know this song…it's -"

Reid reached over and put a hand to her mouth. "Later, just watch the show."

Duck Dodgers and his faithful sidekick, Porky Pig were given the assignment of find planet X. Apparently the earth was low on shaving cream atoms and it was Duck Dodgers job to claim the planet that could restore the supply.

"Shaving cream atoms!" Austin said with derision.

"Shh…"

She turned back to ride that seemed to explode in color and sound around her. Teasing Reid about this was going to be way too easy.

"Why doesn't he listen to his faithful sidekick?" she asked as Duck Dodgers mapped out this incredibly complicated route to Planet X and then calmly stole his sidekick's idea that they just follow the other alphabet planets.

"Austin…"

"Okay, no more questions."

Planets whizzed by them and seem to fly right at them as the ride progressed. Everything seemed to be going well for Duck Dodgers until Marvin the Martian showed up.

After a long battle between disintegrating pistols and ultimatum dispatchers, the two rivals managed to blow up their space vehicles and most of planet X till there was just one tiny little bit floating in space. The 3-D effects were better them most movies Austin had seen while living in Atlanta as the explosions and flying rockets came right off the screen at them. The best part was watching Reid have such a good time on the ride. She was going to make sure he got to do more things that most little kids took for granted.

"Wow… that was a lot better the watching the old shorts on YouTube!" he exclaimed. "The colors and the special effects were the best I've ever seen!"

"I'll bet you forgot all about wondering what kind of subtle commentary on society they might have slipped into the short while you were dodging particles of a planet that came flying out when they blew it up."

"Well yeah…"

"Still, it was kind of pointless. Duck Dodgers blows up the planet they need for shaving cream atoms. He totally messed up his mission."

"I thought you didn't want to talk about subtext," he said as they left the ride and rejoined the people milling around the park.

"I'm just asking a valid question."

"Well, I agree with you. Also, did you see the way that he treated Porky Pig? The pig had all the good ideas and Duck Dodgers takes them all for his own. It's like he's some kind of corporate honcho and Porky Pig is just a little peon."

"I think you'd make a great profiler."

"Are you kidding? Too many long hours and not enough pay."

"That's for sure." He agreed. "But I love doing my job."

She laughed and steered him to the ride that she wanted to go on. "Let's go, we can't miss the "Superman Tower of Power" ride."

"I'm fine with that," he said, taking her hand in his.

"You're okay with a free fall from twenty-three stories at sixty miles per hour, but you balk at the Log Flume."

Reid went pink in the cheeks and decided to watch the riders while they waited in the line.

"Come on Dr. Reid, spill it!"

"I wasn't afraid okay. I just didn't want to get soaked and walk around in wet clothes for the rest of the day."

The line moved forward a bit and Austin moved to stand in front of him so he couldn't hide from her.

"There's more to it then that."

"Okay, so the last time I got soaked with a girl, it didn't go too well."

"Oh, you mean you and Lila Archer."

He went beet red. "How did you - oh, you've been talking to JJ and Garcia."

"Yeah, they told me all about your little 'swim' with Ms Archer."

They reached the ride and were getting strapped into it when Reid said, "I hope they told you why it didn't work out."

"Yeah, I heard it all. I'm not going to break up with you just because we have a long distance relationship."

"I'm not worried about that."

She would have questioned him further but the ride was in motion and she was completely distracted by the rise and then the high speed drop back to the ground that seemed to put her stomach into her brain. Reid was looking like he was having the time of his life.

"That was fun…" he said excitedly. "Let's get in line again."

"I'm glad you didn't throw up all over the rest of the riders."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because we had a lot of junk food for lunch."

"I have a stronger stomach then most people think," he bragged as they got back in line.

"I guess you do."

Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss that nearly melted his brains into his feet.

"What was that for?" he asked when he could form coherent sentences.

There were a couple of teenage girls behind them, giggling like crazy at the couple. Reid was red in the face again. "Austin…"

"I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me. So stop worrying about it! I'm not like Lila Archer."

"Yes ma'am…"

"Don't call me ma'am! That's my mom."

"Okay!"

---

Austin climbed into Reid's car and immediately turned around to the back of the car. "Hello my darlings! How did you spend the day?" She was talking to the stuffed animals lined up in the back like they were small children.

"What are you doing?"

"I have to check up on our children."

"If they're kids, then we should be going to jail."

"Why?" She sat down and buckled her seat belt.

"Because we left them in a hot car all day alone."

"Very funny!"

"Not as funny as you calling the zebra "Ziggy!"

"It's an allusion… You know what an allusion is, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"It was better then calling him Stuart."

"Stuart isn't a bad name."

"How many zebras do you know that are called Stuart?"

"To my knowledge, you don't give zebras names."

"You really did miss a lot as a kid."

"Can we just go get something to eat? I'm starved and I want pie."

"Garcia said that we should go to "Jim's" for great pie if we spent time in Chicago. So, since we're here…'

"What are you waiting for? Apple pie waits for no man _or_ woman."


	11. Gene Pitney

**Most, if not all, of the things that occur in this chapter have happened to me (editor frog) at some point while in a hotel. Cookies!

* * *

**

"That pie was like eating heaven," Austin said as she grabbed her bag. Smiling like a little kid, she nearly raced up the front walk to the hotel the couple were staying at for the night. "What made you pick this place?"

"I didn't," Reid said honestly, looking at the gigantic building. It was a Hilton, and from the looks of the place was fairly new. "Garcia told me she was booking all my stuff for this trip…"

"Probably didn't trust you to do it yourself," Austin teased.

"Hey, I can book my own room," the profiler said simply.

"Yeah, for one," the former bartender countered. "And for business purposes. I'm sure Garcia picked something nice."

The pair walked up to the front desk, Austin staring around a the mahogany paneling that lined the counter and the cherry finish along the walls. A small 'wishing pond' sat in the middle of the entryway, with a waterfall that cascaded down from the third floor. "Look, Spencer—there's giant goldfish in here!" the woman cried, giggling.

"Those are koi fish," Reid said, peering into the pond. Realistic looking fake plants had been scattered among some real ones, giving the place a more elegant feel than the accommodations he was accustomed to receiving on the job. "But they do look like goldfish, don't they?"

Austin just smiled. Then the pair made it up to the front desk.

"Welcome," the clerk said. "Checking in?"

"Yes," Reid said, handing over his credit card. "I have a reservation…"

"Mmm hmm…let's see," the clerk said, pecking away at her keyboard. "Oh. Yes. Vacation?" she asked, looking at both him and Austin.

"Yes," Austin said. "This place is gorgeous."

"Thanks. People really like the fish—have to keep some from throwing pennies in to make wishes half the time. The coins hurt the fish." Pulling two key cards from the pile on the desk, the clerk coded them to the room the couple would be occupying for the night. "Now, your reservation was open, so whenever you decide to check out just come back," she explained. "Have a wonderful stay."

"Thanks," Reid said, taking the key cards and the printout of his bill. He could swear he heard the clerk humming a tune he recognized, something to do with "so in love as we, bewildered by the world we see." Austin snatched one of the keys out of his hand and scampered down the hallway, searching for a directional sign. "What floor?" she said. "I'm beat."

"Um…room 312," Reid read, not noticing as the elevator patiently made its way down the clear glass enclosure of a shaft. The design was so that guests could see the view of the lobby and entryway, as well as enjoy the sight of the lush plants and waterfall pond below. As the couple got on, Reid decided to look over the bill later and watched Austin wriggle with excitement. "It's a hotel room, Austin. Same furniture in every one."

"Now, you don't know that," the woman replied.

"Believe me, I've been to hundreds of hotel rooms since I started at Quantico," he countered. "They're pretty much the same."

"And if you're vacationing?"

"Doesn't matter, Austin," Reid said. "It's still the same."

"The mindset is different. All those other times, you were in a room to work. Now you're here to relax. Trust me, it makes things completely different."

Reid remained silent, but his expression said that he wasn't so sure. Austin nearly ran down the hallway, stopping at a door near the stairs. "Here it is, our home away from home tonight," she said. "Wonder if it'll be like the last place…"

A chuckle escaped Reid's lips. The night previous he and Austin had ended up staying in a room that had had a screamer on one side, a squeaky mattress on the other and a roof that leaked. Reid had silently taken the name of the place down and vowed to 'repay' Garcia for the booking in his own time.

Austin pulled her door key out of the lock and opened the door. "Oh, _Spencer_," she said, her voice full of surprise and delight. "Really…" The smile on her face was enough to put a confused look on her companion's.

"What?"

"A _hot tub? _Wow." Reid had to gasp for air as Austin kissed him long and hard on the lips, his shoulder blades stinging from being shoved backwards onto the wall as she did so. "Oooh!" she said as he heaved oxygen into his lungs. "I know just the thing…" Quickly the woman left the room, a huge smile on her face. "Don't go _anywhere_…I'll be right back!"

Reid stared at the tub in disbelief. He liked spas—had been thinking about putting one in his apartment, actually—but this one was clearly designed for two, and it looked like it could swallow the profiler whole. Large mirrors had been set into the walls surrounding the tub, giving a 'view' that was clearly meant for a 'romantic' evening.

_There has to be some mistake,_ he thought, pulling out his bill. As he carefully read the receipt, he realized it was no mistake.

The young man looked at the tub. He looked at the bed—a king size with soft sheets and extra pillows. He remembered Austin's bright eyes and happy smile as she'd found out the 'accomodations' were more than she'd expected.

Smiling a little, Reid sat his bag on one end of the giant bed. _Why not? _he thought. _I could use a happy memory involving water…_

Just then the door creaked. "Austin? Is that you?" he called out, not being able to clearly see the door.

"Room service, sir," a woman said, pushing in a cart. "Your wife asked that we send this up."

Reid decided not to correct the woman. "Thanks," he said, handing the waitress a tip. Once she left, he perused the contents of the tray. _Austin, how could you…? _he wondered. _Wow._

A covered tray was heaped with fresh strawberries, all with the tops cut off. A pot of heated chocolate sat next to it on a special flameless burner, warming the confection but not burning it. A small plate of carrots and celery covered another, a container of dip nestled in the middle. There were two cans of instant whipped cream, and a giant box of chocolates that had yet to be unwrapped. Two carafes of something hot sat on the other end, and the smell of flavored coffee and hot chocolate filled Reid's nostrils. A bowl of peppermints completed the spread, and on a separate shelf on the cart stood a bottle of bath salts.

"Guess she really likes the room," Reid said to himself as he began to unpack a little. Though they probably would only stay a day or two, he still liked to unpack—it made him feel like he wasn't living out of a bag day in and day out.

The door creaked again, and Reid stood up from the dresser to see who it was. Once he did, he smiled. "So that was the surprise?" Reid said, motioning towards the food.

"That, and something else," Austin said. "Something for the big kid now."

Reid looked a little perplexed. "Huh?"

"Just make yourself comfortable and I'll hop in the shower. Oh, and start running that bathtub!"

"Okay," the profiler called out as he heard the shower start to run. _She really wasn't that dirty,_ he thought to himself. _I mean, not that I noticed…well, not to me…oh…" _Reid could feel his cheeks blush as his own mind tripped over his thoughts. To take his mind off of that, he studied the directions for the spa carefully and began to fill the tub. He also added a capful of the bath salts, and he smiled as the tub began to fill with scented bubbles—the scent wasn't too flowery or too strong. Then his mind jumped to the thought of being _in_ the tub. With Austin. A beautiful, intelligent, capable, _completely naked_ woman. The thought of her being in the tub with him set Reid on edge a little.

"Uh…Austin…" he called, settling nervously on the edge of the bed.

A second later the bathroom door opened, and the woman padded out on slightly dripping feet, a towel covering much of her frame. "Yeah?"

"Um, about the tub…"

"Oh, Spencer. I _love _it." At that, Austin dropped her towel.

Reid's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Wow," he said, his voice trying to keep up with his thoughts.


	12. Paul Davis

**Mabelreid gets all the credit for this chap. Read on--there's chocolate!

* * *

**

"Spencer…"

"W-what?" He couldn't seem to string to coherent words together. Weird.

"I hope you're not going to have an aneurysm. That would put a real dampener on the evening."

"N-no… um, I just well," He choked, cleared his throat and squeaked all at the same time.

"That tub's waiting for us and one of us has _way_ too many clothes on."

He lost the ability to breathe watching her dip her forefinger below the fire engine red lace thong she was wearing.

"Don't you want to get out of those clothes and into this _hot, _sudsy water with me?"

His eyes had moved from the thong to her chest, which was bare. One part of his brain was trying to make his hands work to take off his clothes while it warred with the other part that wanted to get Austin out of those panties.

"Um… yeah, I do," he said in breathless squeak.

Austin shimmied out of the thong and tossed it at him. He put up his hands to catch it and when he lowered the red fabric after taking a good long inhale of her scent, she'd slipped into the tub.

"You better hurry up before the water gets cold."

"Um yeah… okay."

He pulled the tee shirt over his head.

"Hey, see if you can find some music." She ordered.

"Okay…"

The music system was in the large wardrobe to one side of the bed. He turned it on and didn't bother switching the station from the slow love song.

"Hurry up Spencer! I'm lonely over here."

That pout fired his blood and he wondered if getting in the hot water would cause heat stroke or dehydration or -"

"Don't forget to turn on the fireplace."

He turned around and she was pointing to the gas fireplace he hadn't noticed in one corner of the room.

_How did I miss that? _

Then he said. "It's too hot for a fire."

"Turn up the air conditioning. I want to hold you in the firelight baby. Let's pretend it's a cool night."

He swallowed hard and hurried over to the fireplace. It was easy to work and soon the flames were throwing shadows in the room. He turned off the lights and took off the rest of his clothes.

"Yeah, that's what I want to see, that hot body." She swished her arms around in the bubbly water. "Come on in here before you catch your death."

He seriously doubted that was going to happen. In fact, he was in danger of spontaneous combustion.

The box of chocolates was calling to him, so he un-wrapped the box and set in on the edge of the tub. He slipped in while Austin stared holes into him.

"What!"

"I was just thinking that I'm glad that body of yours hides under those sweater vests and mismatched socks because I don't want anyone else to see it."

"Um.. I'm nothing special so I don't und -"

He didn't finish his thought because Austin had grabbed him and was assaulting his mouth with her lips. The heat of her tongue battling with his outdid the heat of the water splashing into his hair and on his face. All coherent speech and thought disappeared, and there was only the smoothness of her skin and the heat of their embrace.

---

"Don't hog all the crèmes." He grabbed the box of chocolates and pulled it out of her grasp.

"God… when did you become four years old?"

"I'm not four!"

"That's for sure."

"I think I might end up in a diabetic coma before the night is over."

"Who cares, you're on vacation. Loosen up and enjoy it!"

She leaned in for a long, soft kiss that made his head spin as though they were still in the hot tub together. His face started getting hot at the memory.

_At least I have a great water memory now! _

Both of them were wrapped up in white robes taken from the closet. The bed was as comfortable as it had looked to Reid when they had entered the room over two hours ago. Time seemed to have wings because it was getting to be close to midnight and Reid was feeling like he'd caught his second wind.

"Seriously though, I hate nuts and that's all that's left." Austin pouted.

"You're very cute when you do that." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Stop it or we'll end up horizontal and sweaty."

"Sounds good to me."

"No way! I want strawberries and chocolate."

"Alright!"

"Don't sound so disappointed. I'm refueling." She informed him. "You wore me out."

"Good!

She smacked his shoulder and crawled off the bed. She pushed the cart up to the foot of the bed and hopped back up on the bed.

She picked up a red and juicy strawberry. She slanted a look over and Reid and licked her lips while dipping it into the warm chocolate.

She held out her hand and Reid leaned forward to bite into the fruit. She let the chocolate covered tip touch his lip and then she snatched it away and popped it into her mouth.

"Oh, you're in big trouble little girl."

His voice had dropped down to a low and gruff tone that was a big turn on. He tackled her into the bed and pinned her down with his arms. She quit trying to push him off when his tongue found the outside of her ear and down her neck.

"Spencer…"

Her breathless voice almost distracted him, but not quite. He pulled away from her just as her hand was fumbling with the tie on his robe. He picked up a piece of fruit, dunked it in the chocolate and bit slowly into the sweet juiciness while Austin glared at him.

"That wasn't funny."

"Don't mess with me." He said.

"I'm not scared of you."

"Really…" His eyes lit up. "Then brace yourself because you just challenged Spencer the Magnificent."


End file.
